I haven't felt much like blogging lately...
Every time I sit down to type I think, Blegh, I have nothing GOOD to report! But then I realized, it wouldn't be a true blog if I left the boring parts out.
So here's the latest:
We met with a new OB last week. After our traumatic first OB appointment, we figured ANYONE with a pulse would be a huge improvement. The doctor was nice, though not as thorough and informative as I had hoped. (I'm beginning to think maybe I just have unrealistically high expectations). He looked at my labs, listened to our story and answered questions.
Then he promptly recommended IVF.
This came as a bit of a shock to me. Yes, I realize I'm pushing the big 4-0 and sure, good eggs don't last forever, but IVF? WTF???
When we asked what would be his NEXT recommendation, he said I should start injectibles after my next period. Fine. Shoot me up, inject me, poke me in uncomfortable places--I will do this if it means I will have a better chance of getting pregnant. The bad news is that we have to sign up for a class with the nurse (Yes, it has to be her. No, you can't find it online) before we can start the injectibles. Their next class isn't offered until February 17th, so the doctor wants me to try Clomid (oral meds to help you produce more eggs) in the meantime. Hm....
On a sad note: We decided to one last "natural" IUI this month (our "hail mary" into the endzone before we succumb to hormones!), but I somehow missed my ovulation! Since I've been tracking my cycles, I have been right on the money! To the tee! I have predicted it perfectly every month. I woke up last Sunday, ready to pee on the stick, and I said to K, "I swear I think I already ovulated." It was only Day 12, but I just had this feeling. Sure enough, I tested the rest of the week and nothing. Grrr.... What pisses me off the most is that I'm trying to do everything I can NOT to get too obsessive and NOT to take it too far. That's why I didn't want to test too early!
Well, I believe everything happens for a reason so this must mean that my body wants the drugs.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
This just wasn't our month
Aunt Flo, bitch that she is, arrived two days early. Though I KNEW she'd come, I still had a meltdown and cried over it. I guess there must have been a teeny tiny part of me that hung on to some hope that I might be preggers. It happened right when I got to school Wednesday morning, so I didn't have a lot of time to sink into a depression over it. By the time the morning bell rang, I had pushed it to the back of my mind and moved on with my day.
Thank Gawd I have K. She is my rock. After I got home and grieved about it for awhile, she forced me to get out of the house. We explored a new gym and I got in a killer workout. Later she cooked me an amazing dinner and we started making plans for next month. We made an appointment with a new OB at the Fertility Clinic and even started looking at new donors. She reminded me that we did everything perfectly and that it just wasn't the right time.
When I spoke to Julie, she had this to say...
"Ya know, Case, you're like a really cool, mint-conditioned car. Problem is, you've been stored in a garage for nearly forty years and never been used! You're probably not going to start on the first try!!" Ha! Leave it to my little sister to put things in perspective for me.
Here's to next month!
Thank Gawd I have K. She is my rock. After I got home and grieved about it for awhile, she forced me to get out of the house. We explored a new gym and I got in a killer workout. Later she cooked me an amazing dinner and we started making plans for next month. We made an appointment with a new OB at the Fertility Clinic and even started looking at new donors. She reminded me that we did everything perfectly and that it just wasn't the right time.
When I spoke to Julie, she had this to say...
"Ya know, Case, you're like a really cool, mint-conditioned car. Problem is, you've been stored in a garage for nearly forty years and never been used! You're probably not going to start on the first try!!" Ha! Leave it to my little sister to put things in perspective for me.
Here's to next month!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I Got Nothin.
Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant.
I haven't had one single symptom. Not a cramp. No spotting. No bloating. No boob soreness. And I've been waking up craving my morning cup of coffee just like always.
Before you start to preach to me about "staying positive" and "not being so neurotic," you should know how unbelievably in-tune I am with my body. I'm that weirdo who can tell about 48 hours before I'm going to get a cold. I've also been predicting all the other changes in my body to the tee. I know exactly when I'm going to ovulate and can plan on when my period will arrive every month. And yeah, I know, there are those people out there who go to the doctor for an ingrown toenail and find out they're 3 months pregnant and they had "NO idea!!!"
But I know me. If I had a foreign substance growing in my body, I'd know it.
I woke up a bit grumpy about it this morning. Ugh. I just thought it'd be easier. But then I started thinking about all the other women out there who are going through this process. Many of them have been trying for months, even years, to conceive. Some have had major physical barriers to overcome and many more have suffered miscarriages.
So instead having my own personal pity party, I started thinking about how lucky I am. I'm healthy. I have a loving wife who builds me up and makes me a better person every day. I'm happy. I live in paradise. I'm surrounded by people who love and appreciate me. I enjoy getting up and going to work each day. On the whole, I'd say I've got it pretty good. And if this quest to make a baby proves to be more difficult than I originally thought, then bring it on! I'm prepared to put my heart and soul into this until it works.
I haven't had one single symptom. Not a cramp. No spotting. No bloating. No boob soreness. And I've been waking up craving my morning cup of coffee just like always.
Before you start to preach to me about "staying positive" and "not being so neurotic," you should know how unbelievably in-tune I am with my body. I'm that weirdo who can tell about 48 hours before I'm going to get a cold. I've also been predicting all the other changes in my body to the tee. I know exactly when I'm going to ovulate and can plan on when my period will arrive every month. And yeah, I know, there are those people out there who go to the doctor for an ingrown toenail and find out they're 3 months pregnant and they had "NO idea!!!"
But I know me. If I had a foreign substance growing in my body, I'd know it.
I woke up a bit grumpy about it this morning. Ugh. I just thought it'd be easier. But then I started thinking about all the other women out there who are going through this process. Many of them have been trying for months, even years, to conceive. Some have had major physical barriers to overcome and many more have suffered miscarriages.
So instead having my own personal pity party, I started thinking about how lucky I am. I'm healthy. I have a loving wife who builds me up and makes me a better person every day. I'm happy. I live in paradise. I'm surrounded by people who love and appreciate me. I enjoy getting up and going to work each day. On the whole, I'd say I've got it pretty good. And if this quest to make a baby proves to be more difficult than I originally thought, then bring it on! I'm prepared to put my heart and soul into this until it works.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Me? The DD???
Nearly two and a half decades of partying like a rockstar on New Year's Eve and last night was the first time I have ever been the designated driver! Weird.
Since I made the decision to have a baby, I've been working hard to prepare my body. I've been trying to eat healthy--adding in more organic and natural foods, take my vitamins, cut back on caffienated coffee, and curb the alcohol intake. Believe it or not, it hasn't been as tough as I imagined. I think the hardest part is seeing the disappointment on people's faces when I pass on the drinks. I've built up a pretty good reputation as the "Girl who's always up for a party" and when I turn down the alcohol I'm greeted with shock, disappointment and sadness. I get it. It was one of the worst things I had to deal with when all my friends started getting pregnant.
I guess I see it like this... I'm going to do my absolute best to get pregnant by my birthday next August. I'm viewing my body as my hypothetical baby's little house. And since I'm building it with older bricks and already-been-used cement, I need to do whatever I can to make it the best house. Sure, a little glass of wine or a beer during the game on Sunday probably wouldn't hurt, but I've got my eye on the prize right now and think I'll just stick with the sparkling water.
Since I made the decision to have a baby, I've been working hard to prepare my body. I've been trying to eat healthy--adding in more organic and natural foods, take my vitamins, cut back on caffienated coffee, and curb the alcohol intake. Believe it or not, it hasn't been as tough as I imagined. I think the hardest part is seeing the disappointment on people's faces when I pass on the drinks. I've built up a pretty good reputation as the "Girl who's always up for a party" and when I turn down the alcohol I'm greeted with shock, disappointment and sadness. I get it. It was one of the worst things I had to deal with when all my friends started getting pregnant.
I guess I see it like this... I'm going to do my absolute best to get pregnant by my birthday next August. I'm viewing my body as my hypothetical baby's little house. And since I'm building it with older bricks and already-been-used cement, I need to do whatever I can to make it the best house. Sure, a little glass of wine or a beer during the game on Sunday probably wouldn't hurt, but I've got my eye on the prize right now and think I'll just stick with the sparkling water.